Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
The eHarmony Premium Personality Profile is an expanded version of our standard Personality Profile. Based on state-of-the-art psychological research, it provides you with an in-depth analysis of 15 critical aspects of your personality and allows you to:
* Discover your best qualities and opportunities for improvement
* Learn how aspects of your personality directly impact your personal and professional relationships
* Empower yourself with a deep understanding of what makes you who you are
It costs 20 bucks. Who is going to spend 20 bucks on a computer based personality profile?!? But, he did it. I don't know what this means. Is he really trying to change (but for someone else)? Is he desperate to get laid? I still want to think that he is desperate and grasping at straws. Good luck to him though - noone he is going to find to date around here is going to be nearly as interesting, patient and understanding as I am. And good. I hope it makes him realize what he gave up.
What this has made me realize though, is that I do need to talk to him. I do. I deserve to know why he was so intent on being "my friend" but then ignored my recent emails. And there are some things I think I'd like to tell him. Probably mean things.
So, end result today is that I am NOT going to his house to drop stuff off. I'm going to stay at home and get my life in order. I WILL do it by the end of the week though. And, I may call him this afternoon. Its probably a bad idea, but I really don't care anymore.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I still miss him, but I barely remember him. When I picture his face in my head, I can only picture pieces of it - like his cheeks (the only place on his body excepting his forehead and palms that was not covered in hair), or his eyes, or his chin. But not the whole thing. It bothers me a bit. Is my head slowly erasing him? Remember that picture that Michael J. Fox had of his brother and sister in Back to the Future? You know, as he screwed things up more and more, they slowly disappeared? That's kind of what I feel like.
It seems weird to me now that I spent so much of my winter rearranging my life to be with him, particularly since I'm so busy this spring I can hardly keep it together. How the hell would I manage a boyfriend on top of this? And how would I afford it?! BB lived 25 miles away from my house, and 50 miles from where I work. Commuting back and forth to his place was getting expensive. And that was before gas hit $3.75.
But, fact is, I told him I would contact him sometime. And I still don't want to. I'm going to be so upset if the first words out of his mouth aren't "I made a mistake. I love you." And I don't expect him to say that, or anything like it. He didn't love me, and most men don't admit to mistakes. I've almost found myself wondering if he will try to contact me again. I totally win if he does, but then again, I'm going to be totally pissed cuz I told him that I would call him when I was ready. I'm sorry to bore you with this neurotic bullshit, but its helpful for me to write it down.
So, to make myself feel better, I'm going to start a list of why I will never get back together with BB. One reason a day.
#1 - He didn't eat vegetables, and I'm a vegetarian. Seriously, he even took the lettuce and tomatoes off his burgers. He would shudder when I ordered a salad the same way I shudder when someone orders veal. Eating was always a big ordeal. I like to eat without debating it.
This is a good start. Perhaps by the time I get to # 10 I'll be ready to call Sailboat.