Monday, May 26, 2008

Anger, then bad decisions

Well, I didn't call him last night.  But I did text message him.

I was SO angry last night I was shaking.  It still shocks me that he can have this effect on me.  So, I texted him the following "I plan to drop your stuff off at your house tomorrow.  Just so you know."  He texted back almost immediately that he was working (it was about 10pm) and what time would I be by?  Well, since he was working overnight, he would be home during the day, so my plan started falling apart.  I can't drop his crap off at the house if he is in there sleeping.  Or not sleeping.  So, I texted back that I may not, since he was going to be there, and haven't heard back.

Also, in eHarmony news, BB has signed up for the "premium personality profile":

The eHarmony Premium Personality Profile is an expanded version of our standard Personality Profile. Based on state-of-the-art psychological research, it provides you with an in-depth analysis of 15 critical aspects of your personality and allows you to:

    * Discover your best qualities and opportunities for improvement

    * Learn how aspects of your personality directly impact your personal and professional relationships

    * Empower yourself with a deep understanding of what makes you who you are

It costs 20 bucks.  Who is going to spend 20 bucks on a computer based personality profile?!?  But, he did it.  I don't know what this means.  Is he really trying to change (but for someone else)?  Is he desperate to get laid?  I still want to think that he is desperate and grasping at straws.  Good luck to him though - noone he is going to find to date around here is going to be nearly as interesting, patient and understanding as I am.  And good.  I hope it makes him realize what he gave up.

What this has made me realize though, is that I do need to talk to him.  I do.  I deserve to know why he was so intent on being "my friend" but then ignored my recent emails.  And there are some things I think I'd like to tell him.  Probably mean things.

So, end result today is that I am NOT going to his house to drop stuff off.  I'm going to stay at home and get my life in order.  I WILL do it by the end of the week though.  And, I may call him this afternoon.  Its probably a bad idea, but I really don't care anymore.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You still so obviously have feelings for him, and like most human beings, are irrationally attached to these feelings and he short-term commitment that the two of you shared. I had a friend who stayed with her partner for years, long after she realized she should be gone. Sometimes it just takes us that long to move on...

I hope you find a way to move on sooner than years. He's not "the one," although he definitely felt that way at the time. Trust me, there'll be another.