Monday, May 19, 2008

Outside my comfort zone

If there is one thing I have realized about myself in the past few years it is that I am a big fat scardy-cat.  Oh, I pretend to be all adventurous, but its mostly an act.  Yes, I do things that most people are too lazy to do, but camping at a state park and kayaking in slow moving water isn't going to score me a show on the Discovery Channel.  I try to combat this aversion to the new and different on occasion - the last one being scuba diving where on my first real open water dive, I panicked and had to be plucked from the water nearly unconscious.  

So, with that great track record on the water, I signed up for a two day training session in whitewater kayaking!  Pretty smart, huh?   The reason I did this?  To meet people.  Yes, that's right folks.  I risked life and limb and nearly had a breakdown so that I could possibly meet a cute boy.

So anyway, the first day of kayak training we learned to paddle tiny boats on a pond.  No problem.  Except the day started out with me having to flip the boat and extricate myself.  Oh god.  I just about went home right then.  But I did it.  And it sucked.  But I lived.  I was also in about 3 feet of water, so the danger factor was pretty low.  I was still pretty scared about toppling the boat, so I voluntarily did it 3 more times at the end of the day.  

Then I got home and had what I assume is an anxiety attack.  I actually had to sit on the back porch and tell myself to breathe.  The second day of kayak training was in actual moving water, with like rocks, and current, and danger and stuff.  That, on top of work stress, home stress and everything else that is going on obviously got me.  I almost bailed on the second day of training. Seriously.  I would have done anything to have had a legitimate excuse for missing it.

But I went, and I had fun.  And I didn't die.  And I actually liked it.  I was the only person who did not flip during the trip, and not because I was being cautious.  Once I got the feel of the boat in the water my confidence shot up, and clearly, I was doing WAY better than most of the guys in the class, which made me maybe a bit cocky.  Despite thunderstorms and rain, and having to pee, it really was a great day.  And I am proud of myself.  

So, my plan for meeting cute boys almost worked.  I was the only girl in my group and 4 of the guys were around my age.  Most were married.  There was one really cute unmarried one, who clearly has some issues.  Possibly one too many rocks to the head.  At the very beginning of training, we were talking in the parking lot and I said "I'm thinking about changing.  Its getting hot." and he said "I've already had my sex this morning."

WHAT?!?

He later apologized.  But, hello?  Not only inappropriate, but weird.  This guy was clearly a winner.  He referred to what I assume to be his girlfriend as "this chick I hang out with."  She should run, far far away.

As a bonus though, even though the only sorta single guy in the group was an un-datable tool, during a lull in the action, conversation turned towards my love life.  Not that anything will ever come of it, but I've got new people on the lookout for me.  

And I didn't think about BB once when I was on the water.

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