Monday, June 30, 2008

Groomsman, Part II

Turns out that you, my friends and blogger readers, are divided on the issue of whether I should be a groomsman for my ex-boyfriend.  This surprises me, so I'm going to muddy the water just a little bit.

I talked to him about details, because I didn't want to just say no before I knew exactly what I was saying no to.  What if he really just wanted me to tend to the kegs all afternoon?  I can do that! Or, make sure nobody steals the card basket with all the cash in it?  Or do some crappy reading about love and prancing gazelles.  I can do these things.

But, it turns out, he really wants me standing up there with him, his brother and two best friends from college.  Wow.  Turns out though, that the bride also has asked a former boyfriend/skanky sex-mate to be a bridesmaid.  To some, this makes it better because the weirdness balances out.  Honestly, to me, it just doubles the weird.

Here's the sticking point though.  All of a sudden, I feel like my blanket proclamation of "no more bridesmaiding for me!" is kinda unfair.  Its not easy to find someone you love.  Its even less easy to find someone that you love who will love you back.  And I'm sure that once you really think you've found it, having me tell you that weddings are stupid and sateen is so 1989 is probably not what you want to hear.  God!  When did I start to care about what other people think?  This is a very disturbing development in my life.

So, I'm still at a loss.  On one hand, I love the ex in that brotherly kind of way (which is probably why we stopped having sex) and want him to be happy.  It would be nice to be part of that and would be fun to hang out with his friends.  On the significantly larger other hand, its still freaking weird and it would be really, really difficult to extricate myself from having to attend bridal showers and, god forbid, bachelorette parties.  I'd have to buy some sort of dress. I might have to go to the bachelor party, but that's no big deal.  I can't imagine these guys doing anything more imaginative than watching all six Star Wars movies in a sitting, binging on Wookie Cookies and being generally obnoxious and gross.

How can I make them elope?


Katy said...

Just be sure that you being in it is not a "touche" for his fiance having her skanky sex-mate in it. You know, an eye for an eye, an ex for an ex. Bottom line, we'll all still love you, even if you are in it, we'll just have something else to laugh at for weeks. :)

Unknown said...

I don't know, I might have to disown you as a friend and disinvite you to the Biggest Party pf the Year! if you do it.

Well, on second thought, nah... I'll just make fun of you and all of the drunken photos you'll post!

kristen said...

katy is right - he's eye for an eye and you do NOT want to be sucked into that. and if you are reassessing your position on being in a wedding, i'd say start with someone who's asking you to do it because they want YOU there, not cause they want revenge.

and i'm FAIRLY insulted that you are reconsidering for THIS wedding when you were NOT reconsidering it for my non-existent one... does that mean i rank behind P-Rex???

Katy said...

P-Rex....I love it kristen!