Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Long Lost Frienemy

The internet is a weird place.  Not only does it allow me to share my daily dose of boy neurosis with perfect strangers (although, I still think that there are only 3 of you reading this on any regular basis), it allows people from the way back machine to remind me of my awkward past.

Yesterday, I received a friend request from a Jen R. on Facebook.  Who the hell is that?!  Even after looking at her picture and school profile I had no idea who it was, although we did go to the same small college.

Then it hit me - this was one of the girls that I lived with for a month during my freshman year.  So what?  Dude.  This girl made my life absolutely friggin miserable.  One, she had a boyfriend who was totally gross and would spend the night.  Often.  But more importantly, she and the other roommate ganged up on me almost from the very beginning.  Other roommate's name was Kim.  I think.  Hold on, there is a story here, I promise.  So, three weeks into freshman year, I had a geology exam and stayed up until 2 am studying.  Came back to the room, turned on my bed clip lamp (both roomies were sleeping) and went into the bathroom to do all that girly stuff we all do.  When I came back into the room, it was filled with smoke.  Stupid clip-on lamp had set my bed on fire.  

Long story short, dorm was evacuated at 2:30 am.  People had to go to the hospital for toxic smoke inhalation (smoldering foam pillows and dorm mattresses are bad for your health, apparently).  Everything we owned smelled like smoke, and the carpet and lots of other stuff had to be thrown away.  And they blamed me!!  I was innocent!  It was the lamp, and the crappy flammable bed, and the smoke detectors that never went off.  

(by the way, remember how interesting I think I am on dates and how good I am at telling stories?  This is one of my favorites.  It might also be one of the reasons I sometimes don't get a second date.)

It may surprise you that Kim and Jen disliked me even more after I ruined all their crap and sent them to the hospital.  I think they should be thankful that I was so considerate and aimed the lamp down so I wouldn't wake them up, but for some reason, they weren't grateful for that at all!  A week or so later, I was in mediation with the resident director (what a joke job) and begging to move in with other girls down the hall who had lost a roommate (homesickness, not smoke inhalation - thank you very much).  They finally let me and I spent a year avoiding Kim and Jen, and all their little bitchy friends.  And I haven't thought about them or wondered about them since.  I had even forgotten their last names.

Now, 15 years later, Jen wants to be my Facebook friend!  I was conflicted, but how do you say no?  I'm sure she's not nearly as bitchy as she was then, and I'm much more careful about starting fires (with the exception of the fire pit on my new deck.  5 feet away from my siding...). But my question is, why?  Why on earth would she want to contact me?  I mean, some dogs are better left buried.  What now, do we do a little note exchange?  (insert high girly girl voice) "omg!  How are you??  Its been so long!  No, I haven't started any fires lately, but if you tell me where you live, I might be able to arrange one..."


kristen said...

um, its facebook and you'll never see her in real life. therefore, you just ignore the friend request.

not rocket science...

Elena said...

But then if you do accept the friend request, you can check out her profile and snoop around and make sure that you are more successful than she is......but that's just my opinion.

P.S. Don't let her in on your blog :)

Unknown said...

I would totally accept her as my facebook friend. I accept everyone. Then I figure out whether it was a good thing or bad thing.

I've known you like 15 or 16 years and I've never heard that story. LOL!!!