Monday, July 7, 2008

Bitterness justified

Just over three years ago, two college friends got married.  To each other.  I went solo, as I usually do.  But my close friends all attended the wedding with a significant other.  At the time, two were talking about marriage, and two actually were married.  

Do you know how many of those couples are still together, including the bride and groom?  Two.  And of those, one legitimately could have ended when he put her tens of thousands of dollars into debt because of a drug problem.  They stuck it out, but good lord, she's got more forgiveness in her than I ever could.  

Three short years...  I looked back at pictures of the wedding and found nothing but pictures of my three best friends in the world, smiling and holding hands on a flowered covered bench with the men who would eventually break their hearts and put a hurting on them financially.  With a track record like that, how can I possibly hope to be anything but bitter and cynical about my own love life? 


5 comments:

elena said...

Because you've sorted through many duds that would have hurt you emotionally and financially so that when you find "the one" you will know. The catch is, he can't find you if you're bitter and anti-relationship.....

Katy said...

Because sometimes soul mates do find each other and sometimes it takes each of them marrying real a-holes to find each other. Real love can happen and it does. Smoochy, smoochy, wishy, washy, kissy, wissy.

kristen said...

well thanks. that just depressed me. However, i think you actually forgot one more now-demised couple, though that one was her doing, not his...

but ready for this? the female portion of the bridal party... 2 people were there solo - the one that wasnt you has since had a nervous breakdown and there is only ONE person (out of the 5 who were there with someone) who is still with the same guy... and if you remember, we thought that HE was the biggest jerk of them all!!!

i like cheese said...

Before I even read this post I had done a mental countdown of all the couples I know that are actually happy, and all the ones thatare no longer, and I think my odds at finding happiness with anyone are pretty much ZERO at this point. It's me and my cat from here on out ;)

DocJohn said...

I'll say what I said to you on the phone... Our 20s are to have our first marriage. If you get through your 20s without being married (yay! lucky you!!), then you are cool. When you get to your 30s, you better understand the world, the complexity (and give and take) needed for successful relationships, and are really more "ready" for a successful marriage.

I am, of course, biased, as I married in my 30s and am still happily married. But in this modern society, I think it seems to becoming more and more the case... the starter marriage isn't just some myth, but very much a reality and now a common rite of passage for many 20 year olds.

I don't see any drawback to either going through a starter marriage, or not. I think in either case, you're wiser and ready for someone who truly understands the value of a life partner....