Divorce is different. She feels betrayed, bitter, stupid for having believed in him, resentful and hysterically sad, sometimes alternating and sometimes all at the same time. She's got to start her life totally over at the age of 32, and she already did start over at the age of 29, all for that jackass. I don't know what to say to her most of the time - should I stay sickeningly Pollyana-esque? "Rah, Rah! Now you can move to the beach!" "Rah! Rah! Now you don't have to commute so far!" "Rah! Rah! You can still find true love! (Barf)" Should I be bitter too? "You should never get married again. Men suck." Should I say mean nasty things about him? "He's a selfish prick who made up for his tiny penis with money and material possessions" (Disclaimer: I have no idea what size penis the jackass has, but I hope its really, really, really small) Should I say nothing at all? I am the queen of saying the wrong thing, and being "funny" at completely inappropriate times. I've been walking on eggshells for weeks trying to say the right thing at the right time. I know that she will be way, way, way better off without him in the long run, but that's hard for her to believe right now and impossible for me to portray it to her in any meaningful way.
But, this blog is about me, not about her, so I'm going to bring it all back to me. I am so pissed at her husband. So pissed. For making her miserable and ruining her life, but also for more selfish reasons. I spent the last two summers nursing my dad back to health and sacrificing summertime fun and was so, so hoping that this summer was going to be the summer of ME! Me, me, me, me!! Now, I'll be nursing her back to happiness and sacrificing some of my unadulterated fun to help her. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do it any other way and I want to be able to help her through this awful time in her life, but damn! I wouldn't have to help her through this awful time if her soon to be ex-husband wasn't such a raging selfish jackass and if that whole "for better or worse" thing actually meant anything to him.
I have a date on Tuesday. I'm hoping I can shrug off some of my recently renewed disgust with men and relationships to avoid having him jump off the dock at the outdoor bar and swim for it. But, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to.