Last night, I drove through an ATM drive-thru the wrong way. It was not my idea. My passenger wanted to push the buttons herself. Beep. Beep. BeepBeepBeepBeep. ATMs ask a LOT of stupid questions. Spit me out 50 bucks! Hurry up! I was panicked that someone was going to crash into me, head-on, in their rush to spring a twenty for a six-pack. Luckily, noone came, and my heart stopped wanting to jump out of my heart.
I am not a rule-breaker. I never have been. I have played my entire life by the rulebook. In my choice of colleges, in my career, in my love life, my finances, my mortgage… Sometimes, yes, I push the rules. I am outspoken, but always within the boundaries of the rules.
Its exhausting to know the right thing to do, and to do it, over and over and over. Its no fun. It s boring. Its lame. People who always do the right thing don’t have good stories to tell at parties. Or good stories to blog about.
So, I am allowing myself to make some mistakes. Intentionally. Things I know will end badly. I’m going to do it anyway. Because I want to. Because I care more about today than I do about tomorrow, or next month, or next year.
You can do the right thing, the safe thing, the practical thing, and still have it backfire in your face. But, if you don’t take the chance, you’ll never know. If I can push through my panicky feeling.