Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Match.Con

"Join eHarmony or Match just like every other lonely person out there."  -Susan, Yesterday

So I did.

I couldn't stand it anymore.  Today, I got another notice that "someone" had emailed me.  That crap absolutely drives me crazy.  I know they need to make money and all, but can't they come up with a better method to sucker you into paying money and joining?  Its almost cruel.  

Out of 90 people that have viewed my profile, I have now received three emails and a "wink."  None of them from the guy that I saw and crushed on immediately.  One, disappointingly enough, was a guy I had been emailing with on eHarmony.  His email basically said "hey!  We emailed on eHarmony a couple months ago.  I enjoyed it.  Want to continue?"  Of course he enjoyed our email swaps.  I'm freaking funny.  He on the other hand, more of a computer nerd who had very little to say.  I'm holding off on emailing him back.

Because really, who are we kidding?  I really don't want to go out on dates.  Not with people I don't 100,000% love.  Even when the dinner and beers are free, its SO much damn effort.  

There is a slight chance that I will try to cancel within three days, which I think they allow you to do.  So, I emailed crush boy.  First emails are always so totally awkward.  "Hi internet boy.  You are cute.  You should date me.  Email me back or I will cry.  And then run off to make myself feel better by having sex with my ex-boyfriend person."   Instead of that sentiment, I told him that I was impressed by his profile; in particular how open he was about his religious views (which are just as abnormal as my own).  God.  I'm not even sure that I'm in a place where I could clear my head long enough to deal if he emails me back.

6 comments:

Elusive Butterfly said...

I *love* the title of this post. If you ever find yourself in Canadia, can I take you out on a date?

kristen said...

they make you send registered mail or some shit like that to do the 3-day cancel...

Anonymous said...

With your attitude it is no wonder why you do not get any dates.

Susan said...

Dear Anonymous: Thanks for pointing that out - what a revelation! I'm totally going to improve my attitude and go on more dates with ugly people who bore me to tears. Clearly, that's the path to happiness.

Elena said...

Twenty bucks says Mr. Anonymous is one of the sub par men that has been burned (or blatently turned down) by Ms. Love Cynicism....

Mike said...

Listen, life is too short to waste time with people who are lame and sap energy.