Monday, October 20, 2008

Out of the Blue Proposition

Wow. I just totally, out of the blue, randomly, got asked out over email by a guy I've met like twice and who I haven't seen in well over a year and a half. No, scratch "guy" - and replace with "man." Cuz this dude is old. O. L. D.

I recently found out that there are plans afoot for a big, nasty gas station right in front of my neighborhood. So, I frantically sent out an email to my old civic association members begging them to take a stand and actually do something other than complain. This is what I got back from Old Guy:


I am responding to your mail for personal reasons because I found you to be a very interesting and intriguing woman, in addition to a beautiful one. I am assuming you are single and I apologize if I am incorrect. In case you don’t remember me, I am a larger than average guy with a beard. I have been in a relationship since before I purchased my home in the neighborhood. That relationship no longer exists and I would like to invite you to have dinner with me so that we might get to know each other better. Any chance you might be interested? I look forward to hearing from you.

Oh my god. For real? Luckily for me, in the blah blah background part, he said he had actually moved out of the neighborhood.

Besides the totally creepy part, seriously, he was totally right when he noticed that I am a very interesting and intriguing woman (and beautiful to boot) - so why then would he assume that I'm single!?!? Holy crap! If I'm beautiful, intriguing and interesting, wouldn't that lead you to assume that someone has already locked me down? Why would you think otherwise? Perhaps he thinks that if I had a man in my life I wouldn't be so damn mouthy all the time? What total balls for him to send that email.

I do remember this guy from meetings, and he is larger than average, and probably hairy, so physically, just my type. But he's 45, maybe 50. Way too old for me. He always was extremely friendly to me, and smiley. Now I know why. He had secret dreams of getting in my pants.

So, how do I handle the situation? Is there anyone out there in the interweb who thinks I should go out with him? Am I missing out on a good thing by not taking a chance on grandpa? I mean, I read all these memoirs where the perpetually single girl finally finds love with a guy 20 years her senior, why not me? But, what I would prefer to do is thank him for the kind email and gently tell him that I am in a relationship (whatever, its not a total lie. I am having sex with my not-boyfriend person) and wish him luck. I'm sure he is lonely, but really, that's not my problem. Join eHarmony or Match just like every other lonely person out there.

3 comments:

kristen said...

um, s, this is the way we are supposed to meet people - in real life...

AND the guy figured you were single because you used to have WAY too much time on your hands for civic association and never had a guy there with you...

regardless, i agree, let him down with a friendly email but tell him you just arent at a point in your life where you are looking to date... dont allow yourself to call that other thing a relationship cause if you do, you'll start believing it...

Elusive Butterfly said...

Perhaps you could ignore it and pretend it got lost in cyberspace? Then if you ever run into him, you can play dumb and be polite. That's just good dating karma, even if you're not neighbours anymore. Otherwise, yeah he seems more than a bit creepy.

Anonymous said...

Well my ex decided to date a few guys and they were all 45 plus - her current live in AARP member is 56.

So - who knows. I would suggest though if he has been ogling you all this time that he is the creepy old guy that buys cat food.

(I must have missed the part earlier that said you like hairy guys...lol)