I recently found out that there are plans afoot for a big, nasty gas station right in front of my neighborhood. So, I frantically sent out an email to my old civic association members begging them to take a stand and actually do something other than complain. This is what I got back from Old Guy:
I am responding to your mail for personal reasons because I found you to be a very interesting and intriguing woman, in addition to a beautiful one. I am assuming you are single and I apologize if I am incorrect. In case you don’t remember me, I am a larger than average guy with a beard. I have been in a relationship since before I purchased my home in the neighborhood. That relationship no longer exists and I would like to invite you to have dinner with me so that we might get to know each other better. Any chance you might be interested? I look forward to hearing from you.
Oh my god. For real? Luckily for me, in the blah blah background part, he said he had actually moved out of the neighborhood.
Besides the totally creepy part, seriously, he was totally right when he noticed that I am a very interesting and intriguing woman (and beautiful to boot) - so why then would he assume that I'm single!?!? Holy crap! If I'm beautiful, intriguing and interesting, wouldn't that lead you to assume that someone has already locked me down? Why would you think otherwise? Perhaps he thinks that if I had a man in my life I wouldn't be so damn mouthy all the time? What total balls for him to send that email.
I do remember this guy from meetings, and he is larger than average, and probably hairy, so physically, just my type. But he's 45, maybe 50. Way too old for me. He always was extremely friendly to me, and smiley. Now I know why. He had secret dreams of getting in my pants.
So, how do I handle the situation? Is there anyone out there in the interweb who thinks I should go out with him? Am I missing out on a good thing by not taking a chance on grandpa? I mean, I read all these memoirs where the perpetually single girl finally finds love with a guy 20 years her senior, why not me? But, what I would prefer to do is thank him for the kind email and gently tell him that I am in a relationship (whatever, its not a total lie. I am having sex with my not-boyfriend person) and wish him luck. I'm sure he is lonely, but really, that's not my problem. Join eHarmony or Match just like every other lonely person out there.