Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Time for a New Spice

Old Spice.  The deodorant.

It comes in a red package that features a sailboat.  Its not out of the question that my father used it, or, maybe it was my grandfather.  It may have come in a soap on a rope product in the 80's. There is nothing cool or suave about Old Spice (or any variety of soap on a rope).  Nothing.  Nada.

Why does it matter?  Why am I wasting your time with my thoughts on men's toiletries?

Because I want to wrap myself up in a stick of it and stay there forever.  I want to swim in a pool of it.  I want to roll my kayak in it.  It makes me melt.  It makes me want to do things like bake brownies, from scratch, and iron shirts.  In my bare-feet.  Maybe pregnant.

(believe it or not, I haven't even been drinking.)

Old Spice is the scent of BB.  That, and that dryer sheets with the teddy (Snuggle?).  Its a powerful combination.  During those months that I was holding on to his stuff, I would occasionally walk by his bag and get a whiff of it.  Then be drawn in, and do pathetic things like deeply inhale his shirt.  Pathetic.  But I wonder, which came first?  My fascination with BB, or my fascination with old-man deodorant?  Did his Old Spice smell help draw me in?  Or do I now love that smell because I associate it with him, and not necessarily because I like it.  Please let it not be that I'm just a sucker for Old Spice.  What if I am?  I could wind up with a total (bigger) jackass, just because he uses cheap old-man deodorant.  Damn you, Proctor and Gamble!!!  Damn you!!!


Katy said...

Now I know why you have the hots for my hubby (besides the fact that he's hot)....old spice deodorant. If I catch you sniffing his armpits, it will freak me out. But if sniffing his armpits keeps you away from BB, I'm ok with that. See what a REAL friend is!

Anonymous said...

It has to be some sort of pheromone thing.

It's like crack for your nose... oh wait... that doesn't work...