Saturday, November 22, 2008

Another day, Another date...

Well, I've been holding out on you all, just a wee bit.

Even though I was bitterly and horribly disappointed by my last go round with Match.com, I did end up returning an email to one guy.  It took me a couple weeks before I responded to his initial email.  He seemed cute enough in his pictures, and is in school for non-profit management (right up my liberal ideal alley), seemed to like the outdoors... So why didn't I email back?  Under "Drink?" He listed "I don't drink alcohol."

I don't want to make a fuss or anything, but as long as you aren't new here, you know that my life pretty much revolves around alcoholic beverages.  And bitching about boys.  Wine and Whining, as it were.  If I give you directions, its by liquor store (turn left at Wine and Beer Superstore); if I come to your house, I never come over empty handed; and if I go to dinner, I like to choose a place with a good beer menu.  Its how I roll... Yo.

I have plenty of friends who don't drink, because they don't like it, because they don't want the calories, because they got themselves knocked up (ahem!  You know who you are!)... But some people don't drink because they are recovering alcoholics.  Given the gaps in this guy's resume, I assume that to be the case.  I guess it shouldn't really matter, but along with not being able to share one of my favorite pastimes, alcoholics can exhibit pretty specific behavior patterns that can be pretty unhealthy in a relationship.  My relationships don't typically need more unhealthy behaviors than I bring to them!

Eventually, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt - so I wrote back.  We emailed several times, then I discovered that he is in the same program I am in, only full-time.  Then I discovered that we had class at the same time on Monday night; in classrooms directly next to each other.  At that point, meeting is inevitable.  We could meet for coffee or something and hang out, or we could meet in the hallway and share an extremely awkward moment.  I took charge and asked if he wanted to meet for lunch.

So we did.  I suggested a restaurant that I love at a time that worked into my studying schedule so it would work for me, even if he was dull.  Under normal circumstances, I would have ordered a beer.  But I didn't.  I wanted to ask him about why he didn't drink, but I didn't.  It was apparent that he was not totally comfortable and was having a difficult time trying to express himself.  Its possible that I was his first internet date and I didn't want to scare him off girls entirely by prodding too deeply.

He didn't really come to life until we started talking about...you guessed it!  Cars!  Perhaps he felt that we were on more common ground there, but, its not a good sign.  I can only talk about the awesome engine my Dodge Omni had so many times before I want to throw in the towel.

Towards the end he asked me "So, what's going on around here?"  I didn't really understand the question, but I think he wanted to "do something, sometime."  I said "yeah, absolutely" meaning that we could hang out as school buddies, but I really don't see myself getting hot and bothered about this one.  He just didn't sparkle.  I like sparkly.

But regardless, I will likely bump into him in the hallway on Monday night.  Wonder how that will go? 

3 comments:

Elusive Butterfly said...

That's how I roll too. I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who is an alcoholic because I couldn't handle the responsibility of not having a glass of wine with dinner when I really, really want one. That would make me cranky. All the other potentially unhealthy relationship stuff, yeah I agree with that too.

Katy said...

But SOME of us, who happened to be knocked up, drink like fish when we're not, and crave a bottle, uh I mean a glass, of red wine still....Fre is NOT cutting it.

He's a guy. A love of cars for him is like a love of boobs...its just in his system. I don't care what guy you talk to, including BB, there's a car or motorcycle or boat fetish in there somewhere. Still curious about the nondrinker thing. Some people can pull it off and still have a great time...

Mike said...

You realize that your favorite lunch place is a quick text message away from my front door. I can swoop in at any time and do whatever: hatch an escape plan, change the conversation subject, drink beer, etc.

And yes, other Mike and I often discuss what would happen if we dated a girl that didn't drink. It wouldn't last. Not that we're alcoholics, but many of our favorite things include sweet delicious booze.

And yes, Katy, we men like boobs. All sizes and shapes. We don't have them. We want them. They're often elusive. They're always a good time (for us).