Monday, November 3, 2008

Girl Game

So, its kinda hard to have a blog about dating and relationships when you aren't dating anyone, and everyone you know (and people you don't know) are pretty tired of hearing about "not-dating" BB.  But, here goes.  Its either this, or you hear details about how I cleaned my house and organized my closet this week.  Yup.  That's what I thought.

This "not-dating" gig is starting to wear on me.  I know you are shocked.  It seems that when we need something from each other, we see each other a lot.  Two, maybe three, times a week.  Case in point - when he needed me to help him with his motorcycle.  Saw him three times that week; but there was a purpose.  And bonus sex.  I needed him last week when the family crises hit.  I needed to not be alone, needed someone to comfort me (and only a fat hairy guy will do in those situations).  There was no sex, because that's not what I needed.  

I get happy and elated when I see him a lot (except when there is a family crises, but that doesn't count).  Then, I get confused and sad when I don't see him.  

It occurred to me that recently, I felt like I had been making all the plans.  I was calling.  I was suggesting hanging out.  He was agreeable (especially when I was crying), but didn't reciprocate.  So, in typical girl playing games fashion, I stopped calling him as of last Sunday morning when I left his house.

You know when I heard from him?  Friday afternoon,   when I got a text message that said he got to leave work early and was going for a motorcycle ride.  I was stuck at work, drowning under paperwork.  He thought it was amusing and wanted to rub it in.  Fine, ok.  But, hey, guess what dude?  I'm having like, serious life issues here.  Maybe you coulda called like mid-week just to make sure I hadn't flung myself off my deck (ok, well, its only one story off the ground, but I could have seriously hurt myself had I decided to!).  Most of my other friends did.  Some twice.  Some even more than that, but I suspect that those were the really bored ones...

We made no plans - girl game would not allow me to.  So, I didn't see him this weekend at all, despite the fact that he wasn't working and I had no plans.  Didn't talk to him even.  Until Sunday night, when he called.  It was kinda late, so it surprised me.  He talked about his little dilemma (Go to a funeral?  Not go to a funeral?) then finally got around to asking about me.  And we talked about me for a little while, but only for a little while because honestly, I'm tired of talking about me (can you believe it?).  He did ask if I wanted to hang out next weekend, and of course, I said yes.  Like a big dummy.

As a side note, like a big dummy, I also said yes when I was asked by the local democratic party to be a "greeter" at the polls tomorrow.  For 8 hours.  Maybe a single, cute 34 year old will ask me a question about a candidate and I can slip him my digits...

Right.


2 comments:

Elusive Butterfly said...

Men are pretty useless for just about everything except sex. I have yet to find one that is useful. Wait, that's not true. Two of my friends married good men. TWO! Jeez.

DocJohn said...

We all make choices in this world, and we live with them. Not all of them are great choices, but given our situation at the time, they make sense for us. In this case, I think BB serves an important purpose to you in your life right now. Whether or not it goes somewhere, who knows? Are you getting emotionally attached. I think you know the answer to that question already. The only remaining question, then, is whether he's going to become as attached to you and, if not, can you live with that outcome?

I think you can. But sometimes I think you feel frustrated knowing you're basically wasting your time in this relationship. And you'd prefer to find a version of a BB-like guy who can commit. I just wish he'd find you too!