Friday, December 5, 2008

Excuse me, what?!

I had a distinctly stressful day yesterday dealing with family issues.  I hate being a big girl and having to take care of people that should be able to take care of themselves.  But this is a story for a different day...

I lined up an evening with BB to reward myself for having to deal with all that crap and/or as a shoulder to cry on should I need it.  Luckily, I didn't need shoulder to cry on so we went to dinner at a renown hole in the wall Italian restaurant.  Wood paneling, tables and chairs that came straight out of a highway diner, crusty old Italians everywhere... Oh, and the worst background music I have heard in a really, really long time.  Adult easy listening, circa 1993.  Yuck!  But, the food was homemade and reasonably priced (not that it mattered because I made him pay). 

BB and I have now been doing the "not-dating" gig for almost four months - way longer than we did the actual dating thing.  I wonder if this has occurred to him?  It may have, because we talked about stuff a little bit last night.  Why does he always feel the need to talk when I least feel like talking?  Dude, hit me on a day that I didn't spend dealing with my dad and you might get more out of me.  We talked about the same bull we always do... He's leaving, he's worried that I'm losing out on dating other people and putting my life on hold, yadda, yadda, yadda.  All very good worries and nothing we hadn't talked about before.  

But what I've never heard him say before is "I don't want to be in a long-distance relationship." But he said it last night.  Yeah, no duh.  I don't really want to be in a long-distance relationship either. We've never ever talked about it being an option.  Ever.  We're not even in a close-distance relationship, why would a long-distance one even be an option?

But, you know how someone says something and it doesn't really sink in until later?  Well, this is one of those times.  The fact that he said anything about it makes me think he's given thought to it.  Which surprises the crap out of me.  He's contemplated it as an option.  A bad one, but an option nonetheless.  I mean, I fully expect that when he moves, we will remain friends and keep in touch.  And that we may see each other occasionally on our travels, but I can't imagine it being anything else.  But maybe he is imagining something else...

6 comments:

Tricia said...

I like to pass some time on Fridays catching up on all my favorite bloggers (all 3 of them). Thanks for posting an update to help me procrastinate from actual work. Anyways, now that I've figured out this gmail bizness, and can comment on your e-version of events, I have to say this- BB is one cocky, self absorbed bastard (choosing to have THAT conversation after the day you'd had!?). You're not putting your life on hold, you are still dating other people (or trying at least), etc. His ego is amazing. So, do we ever get to meet him??

Elena said...

I'm bringing over a HUGE bottle of champagne tonight and besides celebrating your promotion, my promotion, babies on the way, and the fact these babies are not coming from us, we're going to celebrate your NOT having a long distance relationship with this guy. Last night, if he was a keeper, he should have just listened to you with a concerned look on his face and held you until you felt better...

kristen said...

stop the thoughts going through your head that caused you to write that last sentence.

just stop. listen to the first half of what he has said - he's keeping you from doing other things.
AKA, he doesnt care if you go have sex with other people...

flag #1.

#2 - he cant imagine being in a LDR with you because it wouldnt even occur to him to want you to go with him because he is emotionally stunted and would feel trapped if you moved for him.
DUDE, look what happened to me, and that was only one borough away and he felt trapped and responsible and pressured. and look what happened. dont do it.

dont even think of moving to queens.

oh, and i like elena and her desire to celebrate the fact that there are babies on the way that do not belong to either of you...

Susan said...

I am NOT moving to Queens. Or anywhere like it. But I will keep celebrating the fact that I'm not pregnant with giant bottles of champagne. And suffering hangovers because of it...

Elusive Butterfly said...

I have a slightly different take on his statement. This is his way of discouraging thoughts of any future relationship including a long-distance relationship. I think he's trying to preempt any assumptions on your part that this is a long-term arrangement. I mean, we all know that you already know that but perhaps he thinks you need to be whacked over the head with it. Grey used to do this to me all the time. It was his way of reminding me that there was no commitment and therefore I should have no expectations of him. I already knew that but he was just reminding me. I think BB is doing the same thing to you. I don't think it was his way of letting on that he has considered it an option at all. Whether or not he is a jerk is for you to decide. Do you think Grey is a jerk? It's so much easier when it's not you, right? Sheesh.

DocJohn said...

The head won't listen when the heart wants to speak. Your heart is, on some level, with this guy. But if you could put your heart on hold for a minute, you might discover that your head's pointing out all the horrible things that suggest BB is not a guy to get involved with long-term. He's a great fling, a wonderful distraction, but that's it.

If the timing had been different, like 2 or 3 years from now, maybe he'd be in a different place to truly appreciate you for you. But since he's not, you need to keep your head about you, and not get lost in this futureless relationship.