Monday, January 5, 2009

A non-anniversary

One year ago today, I went on my first date with BB.  A non-anniversary, for a non-relationship.

I know he doesn't remember the exact date, but I'm sure it will occur to him pretty soon that we've been a part of each other's lives for a pretty long time.  And although he was only my boyfriend for under three months, if you count the "not-dating" phase (which started in July) he's my second longest "relationship."  If you just want to add up the number of months that we've had "relations" - well, he's second too.

That's pretty messed up - my longest "relationship" since my early twenties is with someone I'm not even in a relationship with.  

I've convinced myself that if we had stayed in an actual relationship, it would have crashed and burned for good sometime this summer.  The pressure and the uncertainty of the situation would have killed it, for real.  But, the non-dating situation is so easy for those of us with a fear of commitment.  We get the benefit of living in the moment and enjoying each other, without all that crap that comes with deciding where you are going to live, where you are going to spend Christmas, figuring out who overdrew the checking account and arguing over who needs to take out the trash.  'Course, there's no benefits of an actual relationship - being able to plan activities for next year, ability to demand he go to social events with me and take me to the airport, the comfort of knowing he will be there for me when I need help, whatever it may be...

In six days, the anniversary of the first time we had sex...  (yes, you read that right.  Clearly, I am cheap and easy)