Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Cold Turkey

I ended it with BB this weekend.

It turns my stomach writing that down.  It doesn't seem real.  

I asked him not to contact me and I've deleted him from my phone.  I know the only way I will be able to shake him is to cut myself off.  And to cut him off from me.

Much more later.  I just need to get used to the idea that I'm not not-dating anymore.  That I'm not quasi-single.  I am totally, 100% single and alone again.  Still struggling with how I feel about that.

5 comments:

Mark said...

This is a very good step. Congratulations. Seriously... :)

Elusive Butterfly said...

You should also be prepared for it not to be ended just yet. You and he have a long history and he may not be ready to let go yet. It would be easier for you if he was angry and resentful of you (the way you are of him) but he's not. He has a good thing and he won't want to give that up yet. Keep in mind the times you feel weakest and vulnerable and plan to be around friends who can be sane and strong for you when you're not able to do it yourself.

I'm rooting for you. It would be easier if you had someone great to fill the void. So I'm sending those vibes out into the Universe too.

Katy said...

Prepare yourself for it to be ended. Giving yourself the "out" option is not going to be good for you and you know that. Of course he had a good thing going on, it was all play and no work for him. You deserve better and I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself.

kristen said...

EB, this was the second shot... plus, this isnt about what he wants... I'm with Katy - this time its done for real.

S, just incase, set up your phone so that his number is autoforwarded to me and your email so that his emails do the same... i'll have no problem deleting them for you ;)

Elusive Butterfly said...

I wasn't saying that she can't do it. I'm saying that he will make it difficult for her. Selfish men are like that. It's not as though he was looking out for her interests all this time. I am just speaking from my own personal experience and I know that everyone is different. I really hope there is better in store for the near future, for both of us.