"You are improving. You're moving into a different level of vitality and will attract new interest in yourself and your work because of this."
I don't put any stock into astrology, but this particular horoscope was a nice reaffirmation of the way I've been feeling since coming back from vacation. Plus, looking up my horoscope in the paper was a nice way to kill three minutes as I waited for our new printer to slowly digest the document I had sent it.
I am finally starting to feel like myself again - the person that I was before this blog started. Its been a long time since I've felt like myself; or at least the version of myself I had created in my head. That version of myself is positive, even when the chips are down. She is enthusiastic about doing stuff, even stuff that's kinda silly or stupid. She enjoys her life. She takes advantage of opportunities. I had lost that girl for a long time, but I think she is coming back.
A combination of lots of exercise, longer days, sunshine and the vacation are certainly helping me find Susan again. And while I still miss BB, I have not (not once) given in to the temptation to call or email him. I know that cutting him off completely was the right thing to do. Its allowing Old Susan to come back.
Old Susan was there today at lunch when I decided to take advantage of the 70 degree, cloudless day and go "running." I don't run really. Its like a slow jog, interspersed with cursing, wheezing and walking. I strapped on my baby ipod that had been loaded up with my favorite chill music (for Mexico) and started running. With an audible groan, no less. I expected to go for a song, maybe two, before walking. But, nope! It actually felt good to run. I wasn't out of breath.
I was enjoying myself.
I ran about 2 miles without stopping; I can't tell you the last time I did that. I walked for about five minutes to catch my breath and bring my heart rate back down to under 180, and ran for almost another mile. It felt so good to stretch out my body. To listen to good music. To see the trees and tulips blooming. To see other people out enjoying the beautiful weather. To not be in the office... It still feels good, although walking up and down the steps is getting progressively more difficult as the night wears on...
Let's hope I can keep this up.