She is always surprised to hear from me on birthdays and other special occasions. I don't really know why. I used to have three grandmas and two grandpas (my great grandparents lived until i was in my early 20's). Now its down to her. Its not really that difficult to remember the birthday of one grandparent. Five, maybe. One, no.
We chatted for a while, about what, I don't know. Kayaking, the NYC trip, the Mexico trip... She said: "You know, I envy you. I would give anything to live the way you live. I wish I'd had the good sense to not marry your grandfather and live my life." But of course, had she not married popop, I wouldn't be here to be having these conversations with.
Momom certainly regrets marriage and babies. She wasn't really a marriage and babies kind of girl, I don't think. But back in the day though, you weren't allowed to be single and travel and experience the world without being a disgrace and disappointment to your parents. She is truly supportive about my lifestyle and about my constant single-ness. She encourages me to travel more; offering up financial help if there is an opportunity to travel that I can't afford. I would never take her up on it, of course, but its nice to know that she's there for me. My own wheelchair bound lifestyle cheerleader.
Most single girls my age are starting to take heat from family members and friends about getting married, settling down, and having babies. Its so refreshing that mine actively encourage me not to! Of course, both my great grandma, momom, and mother had marriages that were less than enviable; its hard to encourage me to do something that left them miserable for decades, or a lifetime.
It was such a nice conversation, and it came at a time when I am really appreciating once again the benefits of being single, saying yes to things and packing the schedule full of activities with a variety of friends (and total strangers).
Thanks grandma. Happy Birthday. Let's hope like hell you've got a few more in you.