Monday, June 22, 2009

Biting the BB

I bit the bullet tonight and did something that I had been dreading for more than a month.

I sent BB an email.

I felt like I had to contact him before he left to go west, which is happening at the end of the month. I told him that I would contact him when I was ready, and I've been ready for a while, just wasn't sure what it would do to me. I just wished him luck and told him that I was doing well. Nothing else.

I was on the phone with Prof when he emailed back, less than an hour after I had emailed.

It felt so completely inappropriate that I was talking to my new boyfriend (or whatever we are calling him) who I am so excited about and am so compatible with and reading an email from the boy who is the reason I am having trouble using the boyfriend term. Jeezus. Why do I do these things to myself?

BB said that he had wanted to contact me but that I had left explicit instructions not to until he heard from me (which is true). He had seen my car at the river when he was whitewater rafting and he thought it was a sign that he should call me. I would have agreed. He never leaves the house, let alone does anything adventurous, and to drive several hours to the nearest body of whitewater and to see my car parked in town? Yeah. That's pretty friggin weird. It must have totally freaked him out, wondering whether I was going to appear every time the river turned a bend... Its freaking me out a bit actually.

So anyway, the email is out of the way. He is leaving on Friday and will be living 3000 miles away from me in just a couple of days. I am slightly sad. I really didn't think that our last conversation was going to be the last time that I saw him, but it is. Likely forever. And its sad to really know that. But there is someone really good in my life who is making me very happy. And for that, I'm glad and happy to be able to really be moving on.

1 comment:

Elusive Butterfly said...

I think it's good that you're not so giddy in love with your new relationship that you can't take a moment to mourn for what is passing. But what the hell do I know? :)