Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Kill your tv

Seriously. China is going to overthrow this country with little more than game-show reruns and an unlimited supply of twinkies.

(this post sponsored by a 1.5L bottle of Barefoot Pinot Grigio. $8.99 at participating retailers)

I just wanted to fold laundry and watch a half decent sit-com for 20 minutes because my wine buzz isn't really allowing for anything more involved. But what did I get on the TV, that I pay 13 dollars a month for? Some crime show on CBS, possibly one of the 24 versions of CSI now in circulations (isn't that what's always on CBS?); some Japanese game show that's funny when Japanese people are playing but really sad when Americans are; America's got Talent (no, we don't. Trust me) and some reality show about interracial marriage where the guy's mom calls his fiance the white devil (she's probably right though). What happened to shows? With plots? And paid actors? And plots? And canned laughter?

I had to turn it off before I could even finish folding the towels.

I feel so cheated. But before the aggravation set in and I switched off the set, I did learn that those desperate Hollywood geniuses are bringing Melrose Place back! 90210 clearly wasn't good enough for them - they've got to go resurrect Melrose Place. I hope they remember to include their tokens, like they did last time (you know, the black woman, the gay guy...). If Hollywood is going to resurrect a show, they should make it a good one. Bring me a little A-Team, or some Dukes of Hazard. Something lunchbox worthy. Melrose Place, old or new, will never rate a lunchbox.

Now I'm going to be forced to improve my mind by reading, instead of letting it rot by watching tv. Damn you, basic basic cable. It might be time to unhook entirely and see what this antenna thing is all about. At least I'd be getting what I paid for.

2 comments:

erin said...

TV gets worse by the year. The sitcom is dying a slow death and crapass reality shows are taking over. Apparently because they are cheap to make. Shows like LOST (which is a piece of television art) are few and far between. It makes me sad, but on the bright side my television consumption is way, waaaaaaay down. That's a good thing, right?

DocJohn said...

$13/month? OHMYGAWD, you're getting off cheap and easy, so it's no wonder TV is being so mean to you by refusing to show you any decent entertainment.

I do agree, tho, that TV is suckin' these days. Summertime is usually like that, too.