Monday, August 17, 2009

The 3-M Edge

Three months doesn't sound like a long time, does it? I sign up for classes that last longer than that. I have emails older than that that I have yet to respond to. I had bills older that that on my desk until the Office Overhaul in July. I renew library books for that long. I have spaghetti sauce in the fridge that's at least that old (I need to clean the fridge out, fyi).

So why does it seem like such a big deal?

Because the last time I dated the same person on any kind of serious and monogamous basis for longer than than three months was in 2005. And he only lasted for a little over five months. But what about BB, you ask? He was only my boyfriend for about two and half months before he turned tail and got the hell out. And while we slept together on a monogamous basis for six months or so, it wasn't a real relationship (as you all of course knew WAY before I knew it).

This time, its an actual relationship.

And now that we've passed that three month mark, I'm finding myself slightly panicky. We're getting to the point where he's pointing out some of my flaws (I know, there aren't many, but there are some). Particularly those flaws that affect him. And he has every right to point things out to me that make him feel unappreciated. And to ask for me to cut it out.

So, I have to decide to stop being an ass, take someone else into consideration, and change part of my persona. He's not asking for much, seriously. But a kinder, gentler Susan? I feel like I'm going to have to give up a part of me. My Edge. I like the Edge. The Edge cracks me up. The Edge makes me cool (in my own mind, at least). The Edge is probably why you read my rants and bullshit. But the Edge can sting, particularly when you aren't used to it. And when its aimed in your direction.

Do I have to get Dull to pull off a real relationship? I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

3 comments:

Elena said...

You're such an @ss, lol. He's not asking you to be dull- the poor guy is just asking you to acknowledge the nice things he does and to be nice to him in return. Boys need a lot of positive reinforcement....

kristen said...

um, no, you shouldnt give up the edge. (i once read that a good relationship is one where you are just a better version of the same self you've always been. i believe this to be true...) but you should learn how to channel that edge into things that are funny without being mean...

i know thats hard and all but it cant be as hard as say, rolling a kayak, right?

Ms Behaviour said...

I don't think he's asking you to give up the edge completely. You can still inflict it on others but maybe soften that edge around him once in a while? Elena was right, boys need to be reassured constantly. Whiny little bitches.