Friday, August 28, 2009

Disney Hurled

I recently caught up with an old high school friend (two, actually) - we had a loverly lunch at a fancy restaurant; they shared stories of their kids. I shared stories of... well, I don't much remember. We talked a lot about kids.

One of them was getting ready to take her two elementary aged kids on a surprise trip to Disney World. I thought it was ingenious actually; taking the kids to Disney and skipping all the obnoxious Christmas-like countdown to it. "When are we going to Disney?" "Mommy! How many more days before we go to Disney?" "Mommy! Can we go now? I want to go NOW!" The Disney countdown would be just like the kid Christmas countdown, except the parents can't use Santa to make them behave, sit down and shut up.

My friend and her husband apparently pulled it off; I just perused her 180 pictures of their trip on Facebook. And I gotta tell ya; their trip looked like my personal version of hell.

Maybe its because my head has hurt for a month, but good lord! It makes my head hurt more! Why, oh why, would someone want to drop that much cash on a vacation like that? Magic Kingdom one day (including lunch with the princesses!); Epcot the next (Epcot sucks, even when I was 8); followed by Disney Exotic Animal Jail; and maybe Universal Studios. All those annoying people everywhere. All those lines. All those really expensive mouse-head shaped frozen deserts that cost 8 bucks (that melts all over you before you even take a bite because you are on vacation, in Florida, in August...). Oh god. The insanity of it!

I know, I know, I know. The parents have fun because the kids are thrilled and having the time of their lives. And I know, "if I had kids, I'd understand." Well, thank god I don't. I like my vacations to involve scenery, and kayaks, and drinks. And no kids screaming to ride Dumbo.

They probably don't even have Dumbo there anymore. Heartless Disney bastards.

7 comments:

Janet said...

I completely agree, that doesn't sound like my idea of a good time at all! Too much noise, too many people, too hot, too expensive. But then, I don't have kids either.

kristen said...

epcot is actually really fun - i was just there in february - BY CHOICE and without children... the countries are fun and the food is pretty fantastic...

also, the animal kingdom is hardly the jail-zoo you think it is... its incredibly wide open and unobtrusive... you actually never see any sort of fence or cage - all of the barriers are natural - rock walls and whatnot...

Ms Behaviour said...

I am 100% with you. I don't know why anyone would shell out money to go to Disney. Ugh. But I think Fish is an eloquent, intelligent and funny woman so there has to be something to it, right?

http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/archives/2009/08/castle.html

Katy said...

I must say that although I hate Disney characters, I do love me some Disney world. I'm with Kristen. And the best part...in Paris in Epcot you can get a Grand Marnier slushy! I totally have a photo of me drinking one with a shit eating grin on my face while my kids are passed out around me on the grass.

Love Cynic said...

Perhaps my problem with Epcot stems from the fact that when I was 8, I had not yet discovered slushies made with Grand Marnier. I was still thrilled if they were red and tasted like artificial cherry flavor.

Apparently Katy had a good time because she drugged her children. Kristen had a good time because there weren't any children... Catching the theme here anyone?

DocJohn said...

Disney is a way to separate parents from their money, ostensibly on behalf of their children. But if you're not a parent, or a kid, I doubt you "get it." Epcot is an okay exception.

I know people who trek to Disney twice a year for kids who are 3 and 6. The 3 year old will have no memory of all of these expensive trips, and yet they all have great fun. Go figure. I can think of a million different, better ways (well, better for *me*) to spend that kind of money.

But kids are expensive, and this is just one more example of how expensive they can be. I'm amazed I had any toys at all growing up! And was damned grateful to have 'em...

Love Cynic said...

Yeah but, do those sticks and cardboard boxes really count as *toys*?