Sunday, August 30, 2009

Weekend Wedding Weary

I think I may come to regret telling PRex that "I will do anything to help you with your wedding, but I can't be a groomsman..."

Because now, I'm on the hook to do a reading at his wedding. A reading! At the wedding of the boy who lived in my house for three years; the boy who painted my walls and chose the refrigerator; the boy who made me realize how nice it is to live solo...

I've never done a reading at a wedding; mostly because most of my friends would die of laughter if they saw me standing in front of a crowd reading Scripture. I asked if it could be a pagan reading; his answer "my mom is doing the pagan reading." D'oh! I'm really curious to see what he and his fiance are going to pick for me to read. If its the one with gongs, or prancing gazelles I'm going to choke. But, I'll still do it. Because I'm a sucker.

The thing is, I'm really happy for him. His fiance is great for him and they seem to be doing really well. Still a bit weird to actually participate in the ceremony of the first boy you ever had sex with, but hey, at least I'm not a groomsman. I'm pretty sure that the Prof is going to come with me; he's heard quite a bit about old PRex and how we interacted with each other and I think he's pretty curious...

PRex's wedding will be the second that Prof and I go to together. The first was Saturday. Its been years and years and years since I've sat in a church, watching two people get hitched, while holding a boy's hand. Like, since uh...1998? Seriously. And it was really nice. I mean, nice in that neither of us got struck by lighting when we walked into the church. And nice that I resisted the urge to drink from the holy water fountain. It looked like a water fountain!! Seriously. Someone should label it for us heathens so we don't shock people's grammies.

The wedding was the first time that Prof had met many of my friends; including the bride and groom. They of course, liked him (at least, I think they did). The groom gave him a big drunk bear hug and said to him "You deserve a medal, you bastard. Three months? I can't believe you've lasted this long..." He was drunk, but not incorrect.

We also saw a new redneck joke in action! Wedding reception bonus!

"You know you're a redneck if you bring your own can cozy to the country club for your bud light."

I was dumbstruck. There's a picture somewhere.

And finally, my friend Kiwi is getting married next year and because she couldn't talk her fiance out of that extra groomsman, I'm on the hook. She broke the news last night: "Sorry babe; you're gonna have to wear a dress at my wedding..." I was going to wear a dress anyway, but now its probably going to be shiny. Maybe I'll bring a matching can cozy.

5 comments:

kristen said...

wow, you just gave me the BEST idea for favors ;)

Anonymous said...

Come on, it was Coors Light not Bud Light. You have to get it right if you are going to make fun.

Love Cynic said...

Ah. I was mistaken! All I saw was a silver can peeking out of the top. I just knew it wasn't a yuengling.

But a can cozy (and matching trucker hat?) would be a great wedding favor! Practical and sentimental! And everyone would have one - not just the dude who was smart enough to bring his own.

Mike said...

And we'll fit right in at the Upper West Side bar after Kiwi's nuptuals.

Elena said...

No comment. Except that I'm pretty sure it's spelled something like "coozie" or "coozy" and not "cozy".....

From,
The bride(zilla) :)