Saturday, September 5, 2009

Feelings, Technically Correct

I looked at him today and I thought to myself "he makes me really happy. I should tell him."

This is a huge breakthrough for me. I think telling people how you feel is silly. I mean, if he didn't make me happy, I wouldn't be spending days on end with him and smiling all the time. I figure he knows we've got a good thing going, so do I really need to be redundant and say it?

And yes, I know the answer to that question is a resounding "yes." People like to hear you say mushy romantic things. I know this, but expressing how I feel makes me vulnerable. And you all know how much I hate that.

I stopped myself before I said anything. He doesn't make me happy. I make myself happy. He contributes to it sometimes, but I'm in control of whether I'm happy or not. So I thought, "well, I'll tell him that being with him makes me happy." But that's not true either; because I'm happy when I'm with him, but I'm also happy when I'm not.

So, I ended up gazing into his eyes and saying the following totally unromantic thing:

"I was going to tell you that you make me happy; but that's not technically correct. Then I was going to tell you that being with you makes me happy, but that's not really technically correct either. So, I guess I'm not telling you anything."

I think he knew what I meant. Though I'm still trying to figure it out myself.


Ms Behaviour said...

It's a good thing he's so edumacated!

Katy said...

You're a dumb ass. Tell him he makes you happy....because he does.

Unknown said...

You just reserved yourself a chapter in his developing hypothesis/technical paper with that one.

Susan said...

Well, we've actually had conversations about this very subject. How a lot of relationships are flawed because one person (or both) depend on the other too much to "make" them happy. I thought he would think I was all co-dependent if I told him he "makes" me happy.

I'm totally dysfunctional.

It still made him happy that I said it. Even though it didn't "make" him happy...

Oh tangled web of words...