Friday, October 23, 2009

It Sucked and Its Over

Dad passed away at 10:25 pm today. Mom, brother and I were all with him when he took his last breath and when the blood stopped circulating. Prof was there too. Holding me, as I held my father's hand.

My grandmother's funeral is tomorrow night.

I've gotten maybe 2-3 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours. Whoever invented the concept of "bedside vigil" should be shot.

I have a lot I'd like to say and work through, but now is not the time. Now is the time to drink the big glass of Merlot that is sitting in front of me. But, before I do, I wanted to thank everyone out there who has sent me vibes, prayers and thoughts; my close friends, my far away friends and internet strangers. And friends of internet strangers too. Without all of your support and knowing that you were there for me, this would have been a lot more difficult. It was still tough, but I knew I wasn't really alone, no matter how alone I was feeling. Thank you all for that.

It sucked. And its over. And tomorrow, a new phase of my life begins.

9 comments:

trish said...

ohboy. well this is a very unpersonal way to send condolences but since you are checking comments and posting often, and you likely are not up for (and too busy for) phone chats right now, i guess its ok. i was at my father's bedside when he died. it is truly an awful and troubling experience to watch that last breath. i am so very sorry that we now have that in common. when you're ready, i'm here to talk, take a walk, hit the Y, or to provide whatever distraction you prefer. meanwhile,know that i'm thinking of you and hoping you are ok.

Elena said...

Oh, lady. My heart is breaking for you. Let us know details and we'll be there whenever and wherever you need us.

i like cheese said...

I'm really, really, really, really sorry. You've been through hell and back and I don't even know what else to say except I'm sorry :(

Mike said...

Hopefully the next phase will have many positives.

Miss OverThinker said...

Please accept my heartfelt condolences.. really sorry for your loss..

Janet said...

I'm so sorry for both your losses. I'm glad you were with your dad, and that you had lots of support with you too.

Good luck with the next few days, and I'll be hoping for brighter days ahead for you!

Ms Behaviour said...

More hugs. I wish I could make everything okay again. I really do.

erin said...

I'm so so sorry for your losses. Know I'm thinking about you and sending you vibes of strength and endurance to get through the funerals... I can't imagine how you're feeling, but I'm glad Prof is with you. Hang in there and know that the next phase will, with time, bring you many good things.

Respectfully Yours said...

I am sorry about your dad. It sounds like you have been through so much these past weeks. I too was by my mom's bedside when she passed away. Please visit my blog where you can see my feelings on my experience. Take care dear.