Monday, October 19, 2009

Two for the price of one

I am watching two family members die simultaneously. It would be comical, if it wasn't so fucking sad.

My dad would be enough death and dying for anyone to deal with. But not for us! We get the special two for one deal. Dying Dad and Dying Grandma.

Momom went back to the hospice facility today. She is in really bad shape. Unable to talk, or catch a decent breath. She can't walk, or use the bathroom and her hands have started shaking terribly, which makes her lose her breath more, and on and on. The hospice nurse said that she is "exchanging very little air." I have no idea what that really means, but it ain't good. She's either not getting enough oxygen, or not expelling enough carbon dioxide, or both. My mother and her boyfriend spent the weekend moving her out of her apartment; her decline started close to the time that Mom told her she was working on the apartment. Momom's home was taken away; and I think it also took away what little will to live she had left.

Dad was barely able to speak today, after his first round of radiation (purely for pain management) and a dialysis treatment. He's back on a purely liquid diet. If you are on your way out, a liquid diet sure doesn't help you want to stick around, that's for sure. He was given two tiny tubs of apple juice, and some chicken broth. He managed 1/2 of one of the apple juices, and that was it. He grunted, rather than spoke. I didn't stay very long. He was in and out of consciousness and I just wanted to let him sleep.

I don't know whether he was wiped out from the dialysis today, or if he's just gotten that much worse over night. I've taken tomorrow off of work and will run from the hospital to the hospice and back again. I expect to lose one, if not both, of them by the end of the week.

I once joked about having them both in the same hospice facility at one time. As that reality approaches, it no longer seems funny.


Ms Behaviour said...

Susan, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I hope that the time it takes to get from here to looking back on this is short, at least in your mind if not in reality.

Miss OverThinker said...

I am at a loss of words - I can't even imagine what you are going through.. you are in my thoughts and prayers - stay strong..