Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Down Time

I think I've gotten my schizophrenic anxiety and general worry-rat-ness under control, for now anyway. Shit is still way out of control, but its not getting to me quite as much. This weekend may have had something to do with it.

Prof and I took a much needed (maybe not deserved though) break and headed to the beach house for the long Easter weekend. It was his spring break (mine too since I'm technically a student, but spring break doesn't do much for you when you still work full time) and for some reason that I still don't understand, I get Good Friday off from work (I don't really remember why its Good biblically, but any paid Friday off is Good).

I was extra excited because the local weathermen (who are always, always, always wrong and I really should remember that) had promised a gorgeous weekend of near 80 degree temps and sunny skies. It was a gorgeous April weekend, unless of course you packed exclusively for a gorgeous August weekend. Thank god I had a fleece in the car and my rain jacket overwintered (and ripened a nice funky mold) in my kayak.

It was the second time we've got to my beach cottage. The first time was early in the relationship and we were both worried that we'd get on each other's nerves. Of course, that didn't happen. We were still in the getting to know you phase and the crush phase. Everything he said was new and interesting. Everything I suggested we do was met with enthusiasm.

This time, we are in a totally different phase of our relationship, what I would call "maintenance." Nothing is new and interesting; we are both repeating stories we've heard before. We've done everything (well, not really, but you know what I mean). Everything is a repeat. Let's go to that place we went last time. Let's do that thing we did last time. So, I was worried about this trip too, but for totally different reasons. I was worried I'd be bored.

But of course I wasn't. And the weekend was fine and great and wonderful. It was definitely different though. There was a routine, and a kind of nice familiarity with the house, the water, the restaurants, the boardwalk... We did try a couple new restaurants and went to a couple repeats. We randomly met up with some of his friends and had dinner together. Prof, who is not a big drinker, got lit sharing a giant pitcher of margaritas (I was driving, unfortunately) and I got to see him tipsy (drunk?) for the first time in our relationship. So, I guess there is still new stuff to discover.

The weekend away gave me just enough time to decompress and get a handle on things. I got a chance to breathe and reflect and have fun. I'm feeling a bit more in control, though its obvious from the state of my house and the height of the weeds that I'm not. But that's ok. For now...


Unknown said...

Of course, this time you didn't have a third wheel at the beach house. I know it was only for one night, but still...

I realize that "extra man" is my role in most of my friends' relationships...yours included. At least over Easter weekend you didn't have me gumming up the works.

Glad you had fun.

Ms Behaviour said...

Good for you. You know, if you grow the other kind of weeds, you might have a completely different weekend the next time ;)