I normally don't have an amphibian emergency, and am pretty good about changing lanes, so I'm pretty limited on the iPod decision making these days.
Until tonight. When I stalked the house Prof and I are thinking about buying, at 10 pm.
Well, stalking might be the wrong word. Since I drove down the street twice and sat in front of it in my bright green car, with two bright yellow kayaks on top. I was not, I would imagine, the least conspicuous thing around.
The late night visit was inspired by a slightly dismaying email from our realtor, who had talked to their realtor. Their realtor said "there has been a lot of activity on the house." And our realtor send us a different house we might want to look at, in a neighborhood we pretty much vetoed on our last time out.
I immediately felt sick. What the hell is a "significant" amount of activity? I mean, we looked at it twice in first week it was on the market. That alone is significant activity - people have gorgeous houses just sitting and sitting and sitting for months and months and months, and the house we like has "significant activity"? W. T. F.
Its a really great house for us, and it has 90% of what we want, and we could move in and hardly do anything to it, except paint. And even that could wait. But the problem is that we are simply not ready, and don't want to be rushed into a decision. But, we also don't want to let an awesome house slip through our fingers. But we also aren't ready. But we also may never find a house this good ever again.
I am in a serious quandary people. And its a mix of financial worries, relationship worries and individuality worries. How can you ever rectify those in time to get a damn house?
So, I drove by the house on the way home from Prof's tonight. Drove. Stalked. Whatever. And as I sat in front of the house, this really sweet Billie Holiday song was on the iPod - Getting Some Fun Out of Life:
"When we want to love, we love. When we want to kiss we kiss..."
"In a happy setting we get some fun out of life"
"Maybe we do the right thing, maybe we do the wrong thing..."
I listened to it for a minute and tried to take its advice, which I think is no regrets, do what feels right and figure it out. But it wasn't enough. On the way home, I got a couple of other songs that were along the same vein, but no definitive. No Crosby Stills and Nash "Our House." That, my friends, would have been a pretty strong sign.
Instead, I'm still confused.
Prof is trying to figure it out too. When I got home, I found that he had emailed me the online Magic-8 Ball. I asked it whether we should buy this house, and twice the 8-ball said "it doesn't look good." But when I asked it "Do you suck?" it replied "Yes!". So much for that method.
Maybe my cereal tomorrow will spell me out an answer. Though, I don't think my Kashi Super Fiber Twigs and soy milk really lends itself to alphabet messages.