Monday, October 4, 2010

Palm Saturday

Put enough girls together, and drama will always emerge. And I will look to escape it. But I never thought I would take refuge at a palm reader.

This weekend was dedicated to Kiwi's bachelorette party in NYC. We did dinner, then headed out for a mini bar crawl. It was extra-mini, since we got kicked out of the second bar we went to because one of the girls was "visibly inebriated."

Isn't that the point? God, NYC has gotten SO P.G.

When we got the word that our friend had gotten bounced, there was mass pandemonium, and girls rushing in and out and congregating on the street, then not. I spied a sign that said "Palm Readings - $5" next door. I knew it would take at least 15 minutes for the girls to work out the plan, so I grabbed one of them and descended into the psychic basement.

I've never ever gotten my palm read, or tarot cards or called the psychic friends network. But for the cost of a beer, I could sit down for a few minutes and do something interesting, while the rest of the girls figured out what to do with visibly inebriated friend (now clinging to KT and a light pole).

I sat down and the reader took my right hand. Without hardly a pause, she showed me my life line and told me that I would live to between 88 and 92. But that's what she probably tells everyone. I'll bet if you tell someone they kick it at 45, they leave and you don't get paid.

Then she looked at my career line or whatever its called and told me that I am comfortable in leadership positions and that my career will shift in this direction soon. All true, though she could tell I was a natural born leader just by the way I walked in the door.

Then she moved on to my love line. She said that I would have three loves in my life, and that the third one would stick. She saw no divorce (though, you'd have to be married to get divorced), no cheating, no strife. She seemed quite enthusiastic about it, really. She also said I'd have one girl and one boy. Eh. I doubt it. Let's ignore that part.

She recommended that I have tarot cards done in November, when a big change would be coming. Hmmm. Very interesting. Prof is moving into my house in November.

So, is Prof #3? If I had counted, I would have said he was #4, but you could make a persuasive argument that TS or PRex didn't count. Boy would it suck if he's actually #2.

She said a bunch of other stuff that I don't remember. I had been drinking all night, after all. But when we were done, she looked at me and said "You have a very positive palm. I haven't seen a palm this positive in a very long time."

I've always been a grade grubber, so getting an A+ on my palm sent me into orbit. I have the most bestest palm!! I have the greatest future!! My love line kicks your love line's ass! So what if I kick it at 88? I don't have a divorce! Positive palm! Positive palm!

Even though I felt kinda shitty the next day, her words were still in my head. I do consider myself pretty fortunate these days, despite the hip and the homework and the headaches (why do all my ailments begin with H?). I've made great strides in staying positive, even when its raining shit. So maybe its paying off in cosmic karma points.

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