Thursday, November 18, 2010

Say something positive

It was exceptionally chatty at work today. I did what I could to focus on the couple things I had to get done, then ended up joining in.

Our receptionist, who was been married since the stone ages and is approaching retirement age, had been bitching about her husband for a good portion of the day. Just your general, run of the mill, men can't do anything right kind of complaining. It ended with her telling us that she was going to have to continue to work forever because when he retires, he's going to drive her insane. And our work insanity is apparently far preferable to the insanity she would endure at home.

So, receptionist and co-worker start telling stories of how their husbands piss them off, and then what happens when they do. It all involved throwing shit. Well, throwing things. Fruit, plates, shoes, spaghetti. Nobody actually admitted to throwing real shit, though, I'll bet had it been readily available it would have been lofted into the air in the general direction of either husband.

So, I'm standing there, thinking, "wow. That's going to be me soon. Bitching about Prof, telling stories about how I chucked the remote at his head when he refused to turn Dexter off."

So I said, "Hey! I've got one of those moving in with me in less than a week! Can't you come up with something positive about having a man around?"

There was a very long pause. A perfectly timed, sitcom kind of long pause. Receptionist and co-worker looked at each other, waiting for the other one to come up with something. Co-worker finally came up with this:

"Well. I haven't had to mow the lawn once since I got married."

Ok. Well, that's something, I guess. I pleaded with Receptionist to come up with something better than that. She did, but it was in the wrong direction.

"Well. He can start the lawn mower."

That's helpful.

Since my friends at work let me down (though, it did make me laugh. A lot), why don't you, my internet friends, tell me something positive about having a man live with you? And it can't be about mowing the lawn!


Kayakgirl said...

1- He takes out the trash and empties the dishwasher.
2- He pays rent.
3- He has many more opportunities to pleasantly surprise me.
4- There is less pressure to make "OUR" time extra special. We get to relax together.
5- We're acknowledging to ourselves and each other that we DO want to be together. A LOT.
6- He chopped ALL the firewood and makes fires.
7- We can go on impromptu bikerides.
8- No more holding that HEAVY remote. :)
9- I get to cook for more than one person. (that's a good thing)
10- He still picks up my kayak for me. :)

PS... does weed whacking count? Cause he does that AND the mowing. Feminism be damned, I like it when he lifts heavy objects.

Anonymous said...

My husband shares meal preparation, cleans the bathrooms and the pellet stove. Of course he does these things on his time, not my time which is irritating! He does make me breakfast in the morning once in a while though, and it's very nice to know someone is waiting for you when you get home.

Susan said...

Thanks Anon and Kayak Girl! I asked for just one thing, and got a dozen. Although, Prof isn't much of a wood chopper, and we have nothing that burns things. Intentionally.

Just Sayin... said...

kayalgirls list is excellent, so I'll add a few more.

1- He'll take the garbage out.
2- He's tall enough to reach items on uppper shelves so you don't have to get the step stool out.
3- He'll stick his hand in the toilet tank so you dont have too.
4- He can change all the lights without a ladder.
5- He will make you laugh by dancing(wagging his dick in your face)in front of you naked, while you're trying to pee.
6- He'll dote on you and play with your hair when you're having a sucky day.
7- He's capable of manhandling you in the bedroom.
8- He'll sleep in the wet spot.
9- He'll move, lift, carry all heavy objects.
10- He will never understand you, but will always admire you.

ISA Brokers said...

Yeah, all I could come up with was taking out the trash...

erin said...

He killed all the insects, no complaints. We had Sunday drinking afternoons where we'd experiment with new drink recipes. Automatic buddy to watch movie marathons with on crappy winter weekend days. He carried all the heavy boxes when we moved and anything heavy in general. He changed my car battery when it died. He put together pesky Ikea furniture. He was SO WARM all the time and was like my own personal space heater in bed during the cold winter temps. We had a rule: you cook, the other person cleans up. Cut down the chores by half, I loved it! He also did his own laundry, which didn't affect me other than I never had to think about his laundry. I liked that.

Forget the old cranky married ladies, living with Prof is going to be awesome!

trish said...

here's a few more:
-when i've forgotten something at the store that i really really need, he goes out and gets it
-when we travel, he loads/unloads the vehicle; i just walk out of the house and go

seriously, living together- with someone you want to be with- is a gazillion times better than living alone regardless of all the minor- yes, minor- quirks that one must endure. you won't be sorry. besides, if Prof acts up, just throw something at him!

Susan said...

There is definitely a recurring theme here - He'll do all those MAN things. Carry stuff, fix stuff, kill stuff, chop/cut stuff and dispose of stuff.

This will be nice, though, I am 1000x more likely to plunge my hand into a toilet to fix it than Prof is, but he did recently deal with a tiny snake that landed in the kitchen (a natural invasion, or the work of Leroy?)

Average Girl said...

LOL.... you're post so made me giggle simply because i just posted something on my better half becoming the winter beast... I will say that he is so good at doing dishes and vacuuming and pouring bubble baths... there's more, it just might bore you.. hilarious post!