It was exceptionally chatty at work today. I did what I could to focus on the couple things I had to get done, then ended up joining in.
Our receptionist, who was been married since the stone ages and is approaching retirement age, had been bitching about her husband for a good portion of the day. Just your general, run of the mill, men can't do anything right kind of complaining. It ended with her telling us that she was going to have to continue to work forever because when he retires, he's going to drive her insane. And our work insanity is apparently far preferable to the insanity she would endure at home.
So, receptionist and co-worker start telling stories of how their husbands piss them off, and then what happens when they do. It all involved throwing shit. Well, throwing things. Fruit, plates, shoes, spaghetti. Nobody actually admitted to throwing real shit, though, I'll bet had it been readily available it would have been lofted into the air in the general direction of either husband.
So, I'm standing there, thinking, "wow. That's going to be me soon. Bitching about Prof, telling stories about how I chucked the remote at his head when he refused to turn Dexter off."
So I said, "Hey! I've got one of those moving in with me in less than a week! Can't you come up with something positive about having a man around?"
There was a very long pause. A perfectly timed, sitcom kind of long pause. Receptionist and co-worker looked at each other, waiting for the other one to come up with something. Co-worker finally came up with this:
"Well. I haven't had to mow the lawn once since I got married."
Ok. Well, that's something, I guess. I pleaded with Receptionist to come up with something better than that. She did, but it was in the wrong direction.
"Well. He can start the lawn mower."
Since my friends at work let me down (though, it did make me laugh. A lot), why don't you, my internet friends, tell me something positive about having a man live with you? And it can't be about mowing the lawn!