Monday, January 3, 2011

Resolvers Be Gone!

I forgot that it was the first Monday of the new year when I decided to skip my lunchtime spin class and go to the gym in the evening instead. I was busy and trying to get my head around having to work five days in a row; running off to the gym at lunch would have derailed me.

Instead, I got derailed by the frigging Resolvers at the gym.

Listen, I really love it when people make a commitment to be healthy and change their lives for the better. I was once one of them. The size 10, bum hip, orthodic shoe inserts, and creaking shoulders didn't just happen miraculously. I worked my ass off (literally and all) for them. And so, I understand what its like to be new at it and I'm helpful to the newbies at the gym who can't figure out how to program their machine, or set up their spin bike. I smile encouragingly at people. I move my stuff over in the locker room to make space for someone else.

But this total and complete onslaught of Resolvers, I cannot tolerate.

There was a line 16 people deep waiting at the front counter to sign in, and I had to wade my way through them and look pathetic before the dude would scan me in. When I made my way into the gym, there was exactly one piece of aerobic equipment available, and it wasn't the one I wanted. The sound of several dozen machines all running at once was sort of mind numbing, and the number of little heads bobbing up and down was a little dizzying. When the bike I wanted (with the video game) finally was open, I made a dash for it, but lost because I wiped my machine down. F'd again for doing the right thing!

I couldn't wait to get done and get the hell out of there.

The vast majority of the Resolvers will be gone by mid-February, which is actually quite sad. I think that's what the gym counts on - selling new memberships and dealing with the overcrowding for a little while, eagerly anticipating the time when the new members will continue to pay, but not come. I know it makes me a bad person, but I'm eagerly anticipating that time too.

2 comments:

toni - ssssht.com said...

Hello dear,
I just came here by accident because I was googling for the words 'cynical love' cause this is what I need now. Cynical people talking. So that's how I found here and now I stumbled a few minutes threw your blog and decided that I love you - eventhough I'm not gay at all. I fell in love with your writing style. Nothing but great.
So I decided to ask if you'd be interested in writing a short something for my blog. It's some sort of photo blog actually but in the end I blog about what I think is worth being shared - and you're definitely one who's worth being shared.
So - let me know. You could write about anythign you want.
Just mail me ( toni at sssht dot com) or leave me a message at my blog.

Best from Vienna/Austria,
toni - a new follower :)

Love Cynic said...

Toni - glad you found me! I hope you've found some small inspirations in the story I've weaved over the years. I never thought the blog would have the word "optimism" in it, but life takes many turns!