Sunday, February 13, 2011

FTD - F'ing Terrible Deal

If you've been paying attention to the news that really matters, and not all that revolution in Egypt stuff, you would know that this weekend there was a great Groupon Scandal, and I was victimized by it. The deal basically is this: FTD created a special site for its Groupon customers and jacked the prices up, negating the coupon (or worse for some!).

I just joined Groupon a couple weeks ago - its only been recently that they've branched out enough to have deals local enough for me to care about (and still, they aren't really that local, but maybe if I lived nearer to civilization it wouldn't be such a problem). I mostly hit delete everyday - "50% off Waxing!" Uh-uh. I have a live-in boyfriend now - body hair is no longer an issue. "Romantic get-away weekend for only $450." A weekend that costs more than my mortgage? Nah. But then I saw "20 dollars for 40 dollars worth of flowers."

This was 4 days before Valentine's day, and I decided to let the cheap side of me (96%) merge with the sentimental side (4%) and send Prof some flowers at work. I knew there was no way in hell he would expect flowers on Valentine's Day (especially from yours truly), so it seemed extra special for some reason.

It wasn't really extra special, but it was extra expensive.

So, I bought my groupon (specifically for purchases to be delivered on Valentine's Day or before), and immediately headed to FTD to buy my man some not-too-girly and embarrassing flowers. It was early and I wasn't fully caffeinated, so I wasn't really paying attention, but the prices didn't seem quite right. I should have been more suspicious. I mean, what flower company really needs more business on Valentine's Day? It would be like an accountant screaming for more returns to do on April 14.

But, like I said, it was early and I wasn't really thinking.

So, I pick out a decent bouquet of roses and pink tulips enter my Visa info and click on the delivery day. And was promptly told that delivery wasn't available that day. Or Sunday. Or Saturday. The only day my groupon was good for was Friday delivery.

I didn't want Friday delivery. Who sends flowers on Friday? They need to go to the office on Monday, so they sit on your desk for five days and all your friends are jealous. On Friday afternoon, nobody sees your flowers, because they all already went home. Oh and, p.s. when you order flowers on Thursday for delivery on Friday, extra shipping fees apply.

But at this point I was trapped, and fuming, but I had to deal with Friday delivery because I had work to do and couldn't spend time calling FTD and yelling at them.

Prof loved his flowers and they were a big hit with the 3 people that were still in his office Friday afternoon, but I kind of feel like I bought them for myself. Friday flowers have to come home with you for the weekend so you can actually enjoy them before they start dying off. So, we both get to enjoy them, I guess.

What I will really enjoy is the refund FTD is promising. I'm not holding my breath.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Groundhog Day

Punxsutawney Phil is full of shit, and couldn't predict a rainstorm even if he was drowning in his little burrow. Its proven! He's right less than fifty percent of the time (39% according to the National Climatic Data Center). How can even a groundhog be right less than 50% of the time, on a yes/no question?

I don't know if you pay attention to rodent meteorologists, but little Phil didn't see his shadow yesterday. This is supposed to mean that we will have an early spring. A bit hard to believe, considering that Phil's region was having a snowstorm of cataclysmic proportions. And every week, the weekly forecast has little pictures of sleet or snow or freezing rain every few days. Including this weekend.

I've had it. Prof has had it. My friends have had it. The cats have had it. I'm sure you've had it too (unless you are in the southern hemisphere, in which case, can I come for a visit?).

I yearn for the sun. To be able to go for a walk in the woods. To get in my kayak. To roll the windows down in the car. To sit on the deck. To get my hands in the dirt and plant something. To eat fresh basil. Oh basil, how I love you.

There was a small ray of hope today. I walked outside and saw that my crocuses had put up shoots, not unusual since they tend to do this in February every year, but at least it was a small reminder that I'm not going to be this cranky for much longer.

I hope.