Sunday, May 15, 2011

Get down with OCB, yeah you know buffet

Two years.

It has been two years since my first date with the Prof and we have yet to celebrate any of our anniversaries (all two of them).

For our first anniversary, we had plans to go to a fancy schmancy dinner in the big city but instead, we both laid on the couch with our snot rags, hacking and coughing and being generally miserable. I bought a fancy sexy shirt and everything, and never got to wear it.

Today is our second anniversary and oh boy, did we do it up.

At Old Country Buffet.

That's right, you heard me. Old Country Buffet, a tacky, horrific smorgasbord that adds so much salt, fat and bacon to even the vegetables that it is nearly impossible to eat anything there, unless your taste buds died decades ago. And from the average age of the people in the place (90), that's exactly what happened. Keep eating there old ladies, and you aren't going to live to experience their special Thanksgiving buffet.

Why were two vegetarians at Old Country Buffet at 2:30 pm on a Sunday, you ask? Well, its a long complicated story, but it begins with my mother's 60th birthday and ends with a stomachache. You can't ignore your mother's 60th birthday, even if its your anniversary. Even if it involves Old Country Buffet and intestinal distress. You just can't. And so, we didn't.

My mom's boyfriend started it, and I had a shit fit when he said Old Country Buffet, but I'm too busy to do anything about it right now, and I don't have a house where I can host lots of people so my hands were tied. I called family members to invite them, apologetically, to the place. And then looked forward to it all week (you know, the same way you look forward to pap smears).

I tried to focus on the fact that my mom doesn't care its Old Country Buffet, but she was going to be so happy to see all of us there to celebrate her, and she deserves to be celebrated. She does so much for so many other people and gets so little for herself, so I really did a good job on focusing on her happiness rather than the jello salad.

And she was happy and nearly cried when she saw us all there (did I mention how difficult a surprise party at OCB is? Jeezus). And she got food, and presents and cake and we sang and it was awesome. For her.

So Prof and I will have to have our celebration another day, although he did point out to me that we did do something special. We picked up the house contract from the sales rep so we could review it and let our lawyer review it. And, we took mom to the lot we've selected so she could see it. I think that made her day. Our day will have to be made some other day.

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