Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Whatchu Talking about, Will(i)s?

I now have a will. And one of those documents that says if I'm in a coma, somebody better damn well pull the plug. And of course, I had to designate someone to pull the plug. And for the first time in my life, that person is not my mother - its the Prof.

And he's got reason to pull the plug, since he is now the sole beneficiary of my estate, for what its worth. Hey man, I've got a townhouse, a VW with 216,000 miles and 2 decrepit cats. He's set for life!

I'm not a big overthinker. If I was, I think I would have been having panic attacks this morning while we were signing the paperwork. It makes sense. We aren't married, but our lives are now completed intertwined and he's got no legal right to my house of my stuff without the will. Its even more important though as we talk about buying that big old house. We both need to be protected financially if something happens. Last week, we both changed the beneficiary on our life insurance, and I actually upped mine to a level that would pay off most of the big new house, should we decide to get it. If we don't get it, and I get run over by a bus sometime soon, Prof is going to be able to lead a life he never thought possible. But I'm sure he will miss me forever and ever and ever and donate all that cash to a worthy cause and live the rest of his life as a hermit wondering what he could have done to prevent my tragic death.

Or, he could just find a hot grad student and spend my money on her.

I like the first scenario better though.

I feel like a real adult. We have FILE FOLDERS WITH WILLS IN THEM! And we are going to put a copy in the SAFE DEPOSIT BOX. Who the hell has a safe deposit box, except for your grandma? Well, apparently, we do.

And apparently, nobody else has a will either. In informal polls conducted around the office and at parties (I am SO fun at parties) I've discovered that nobody has a will. N.O.B.O.D.Y.! What the hell people. Suck it up, write some stuff down and notarize it, so your siblings aren't arguing over your wicked awesome vinyl record collection. Or your in-laws aren't arguing over who has to take the kids.

(In order to legitimize this giant house purchase we are getting very close to making, we are now accepting most requests to take care of your kids if you die in a tragic accident, so write that will now before we change our minds. But you'd better leave us enough money in a trust fund to pay for their car, college and the occasional bail.)

The whole thing is totally creepy, but its worth it. Go do it. Get your Will done, and if you don't know who to give your stuff to, just leave it to me and I'll take care of it.

3 comments:

Just Sayin... said...

Awesome!
I've had a will since I was 20 and seriously needs to be updated. lol The safety deposit box, well, that's just smart. I keep cd's of pictures (like negatives) my parents wills and my own in there etc... It's just smart.
YAY YOU GUYS FOR BEING ADULTS!!! (yes, hint of sarcasm)
xo

erin said...

I have a feeling most people don't bother with wills until they have kids. I don't have a will, but then I've only got one brother. He can have all my crap. And my mom can have my cats. Can I get your blog notarized?

In all seriousness, congrats on the will! I think. Do you congratulate someone on that? So confused.

Love Cynic said...

Sayin - good idea on the cd of pictures. I might have to do that too.

Erin: I think if I upgrade to BloggerPlus, they will notarize all posts and comments. :) Are you SURE your mom will take the cats? you might want to set up a trust fund for them, just to be sure.

For those of us without much to leave to anybody, the will part isn't really that important, but the living will is. If you don't leave specific instructions, you could be laying in a coma for decades, while legal battles are being fought over you. That's really the most important one. I want to know who gets to pull my plug.